What Is Flirting Really? A Guide for LDS Singles Who Don’t Want to Play Games

Flirting gets a bad rap—especially in LDS culture. It's either seen as manipulative or something you should avoid altogether unless you're very sure of your intentions.

But let’s be honest: Nothing will happen without showing a little interest first.

And for a lot of LDS and culturally LDS singles, that part—showing interest—is where things start to feel awkward, confusing, or downright scary. Maybe no one ever taught you how to flirt. Or maybe the only version you’ve seen feels performative or fake.

Here’s the good news: Flirting doesn’t have to be cringey, manipulative, or against your values. In fact, it can be one of the most genuine, spiritual, and confidence-building things you do.

But first—you need to have the vision. Can you imagine yourself flirting?

Picture This: You, Flirting

Really. Take a second.
What does it look like when you flirt with someone in a way that’s honest, kind, and totally you?
What does it feel like in your body? What does your face do? What do your eyes say?

This isn’t about acting. It’s about allowing yourself to show up.

If you’ve been waiting for someone else to make the first move—or if you’re overthinking every interaction until it feels safer not to try at all—this post is for you.

Let’s reframe what flirting really is (and isn’t), so you can start practicing it with more clarity and confidence.

Flirting = Connection, Not Performance

My personal definition of flirting is the same as my personal definition of dating, which is…
The ultimate compliment.

Definition: willingness to potentially get hurt and/or be seen as a fool for love.

Flirting is a signal that you’re interested. It’s a moment of bravery. A gentle, playful risk.

It’s not about getting a certain response, boosting your ego, or faking chemistry that isn’t there. It’s about being emotionally generous, observant, and present.

There’s a huge difference between:

• “I care how you make me feel” and

• “I care about how you feel.”

Real flirting starts with the second one. It’s curiosity, not control.

How to Flirt With Someone in Real LDS Spaces

You don’t need a whole new personality to start flirting. You just need to work with what’s already happening around you.

Here are a few flirting moves that are natural, respectful, and 100% aligned with who you are:

• Use your eyes. Make eye contact. Let it linger. Let yourself be seen.

• Smile. (Yes, it really is that simple sometimes.)

• Sit next to them. Don’t overthink it. Just walk up and sit down.

• Ask for help. “Would you be willing to help me with ___?” Keep it simple. No need to bargain or apologize.

• Pay a compliment. “That was a great talk. Thank you for inspiring me.”

• Offer to help. “Can I carry that to your car?” “I’ll help with dishes.” “I saw you stacking chairs—I’ll join you.”

• Ask to be taught. “How do you do that? Will you teach me?” or “I want to learn how to do that with you.” Don’t leave off the important words “with you.”

These aren’t manipulations. They’re invitations. And they work best when you actually mean them.

Quick Flirting Lines That Actually Land

(These are especially helpful if you’re newer to flirting or just want to try something small.)

• “If you’re going, I’m definitely going.”

• “You’re really good at that—I admire how you show up.”

• “Would you want to plan something together?”

• “You said something that stuck with me. I’ve been thinking about it all week.”

• “Do you want to team up for this calling/event/project?”

• “I like the way you think. I’d love to hear more.”

Each of these opens a door. It doesn’t guarantee a connection, but it does create space for one. And, all of these spaces can be created in person or via text. These suggestions will help you look for opportunities that are specific to your unique situation, or they can be reformed in your own words.

What If I Flirt and They Don’t Like Me Back?

This is the part that scares people most. But hear me clearly: You flirting with someone is not a requirement.

You’re offering a compliment. It’s vulnerable. And if it’s not returned? That’s okay.

You didn’t lose anything—you gained clarity.

And if someone flirts with you and you’re not interested? You don’t need to panic. Respect the courage it took. Respond with kindness. You’re not obligated to reciprocate, but you can smile and say, “Thank-you. I’m flattered, but not interested.”

Want to Flirt With Confidence? Start Here.

If you’ve been waiting for encouragement to show up in your dating life more honestly, here it is:

You are capable of flirting! I promise. You can do it.
Showing interest is not as hard or confusing as you think.
Allow yourself to enjoy the connection, the playfulness, and the energy it brings.

And if all of that still feels terrifying?
That’s where confidence comes in.

🧠 Download my free guide: How to Build Confidence for Young Adults
It’ll help you get clear on what you want, trust your instincts, and stop second-guessing yourself in every interaction.

And if you’re ready for real support in dating for marriage—with less fear and more joy—
📞 Book a Discovery Call
Let’s talk about what’s getting in your way and how we can shift it.

PS: If you liked this post, you might also love:
👉 What to Say (and Text) When You Want a Second Date

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